For better or for worse

What do you think of my little icon photo? Mei-mei and I will display our icons whenever we post so that you're not confused about who's writing. Mama doesn't get her own icon because she's the default writer on this blog. And she's not nearly as cute as we are.

Anyway, I'm actually posting to tell you about how things are going around here from my perspective. A lot has changed in the past month -- some for the better, some for the worse. On the "better" side: I have a cool little sister (even though I'm not allowed to play with her yet), Daddy spends more time with me, Mama's lap has reappeared, I keep getting "big brother" gifts (if I'd known about that, I'd have asked for a little sister a long time ago), I have a bucket full of really cool toys that I get to play with whenever Mama is nursing Mei-mei (which is really often). On the "worse" side: Mama doesn't take me to playgrounds as much, even though Mama's lap is back it's often occupied by Mei-mei, I have to be gentle with Mei-mei, I'm not the center of attention anymore, I don't get to see my friends very often.

Overall, the "worse" stuff isn't too terrible. But sometimes I just want things to go back to the way they were before Mama got fat and then Mei-mei came home. Back then, I had Mama to myself all day long and we went to playgrounds, playgroups, and other fun adventures all the time. I hope that we'll start doing those types of things again soon.

Here's what I look like during a "worse" moment:

It only gets better, right?

Today has not been the easiest of days. Mei-mei seems to have hit one of her developmental growth spurts, which is characterized by the need to be held, have a boob in her mouth, or both. Constantly. This is already exhausting, but it's made even more difficult by the fact that I have another child to take care of at the same time.

This morning, every time I tried to put Mei-mei down, she started screaming at the top of her lungs. Not the sweet mewling newborn whimper -- a full-out banshee scream. With red face, swollen eyes, tears and everything. At the same time, Z was in his playroom with a dirty diaper and an empty belly. Since I'm washing my Babyhawk carrier right now, I went through three other carriers* before I could finally settle Mei-mei down in the Ergo. Then I was finally able to take care of poor Z.

By the time I changed Z's diaper and made him his lunch, he was too tired to eat. So he had a couple sips of milk, a few bites of avocado, and then went down for his nap. The sweet boy -- in spite of being neglected most of the morning, he still said, "Awwww, Mei-mei" every time he heard her cry and he tried to help her by petting the top of her head and her leg. He's such a good boy.

I've been told by numerous people that having a second child (especially when you have "two under 2") is the hardest transition. You know it's going to be hard when you have your first, so you're somewhat prepared for it mentally. And with your third and any subsequent children, you're pretty much numb to it (those were the exact words of a woman I spoke to on Saturday who has four children). Plus, by then the older kid(s) are more mature and/or in pre-school already.

But the second child -- that's the tricky one. You think you know what you're doing because you've already been through the newborn/infant stuff with your first. But you didn't take into account that you have another child who is essentially still a baby and who needs your constant attention, regardless of how little sleep you've had and how distracted you are. So it can be a shock how thinly you are stretched, especially if you don't have anyone helping or your older child isn't in daycare for at least part of the day.

We've been managing pretty well so far and each day we settle a little more into a rhythm of sorts. But that all gets tossed out the window when Mei-mei goes through a growth spurt, which she will be doing at least 6-8 times over the next year. Plus we still have four molars to cut with Z. Regardless, my sweet babies are precious and I wouldn't trade a day with them for anything (although I might trade a few hours for a nice long nap).

*And yes, I am getting rid of those three carriers that are more of a pain than a help when it comes to carrying and/or comforting the baby.

New kid on the block

Now that I'm a mature girl of 4 weeks, it's time for me to speak for myself on this blog! After all, I have a lot to say. I spend most of the day sleeping, which is when I think up all of my big ideas. Then I wake up around 11PM and spend the night sharing my thoughts with Mama. It works out pretty well for me, but Mama seems to have a hard time paying attention. I often catch her nodding off right in the middle of one of my soliloquies! I feel like I'm a college professor or something. Once I figure out where my hands are and how to grab things, I'm going to bring a chalkboard eraser to bed with me so I can throw it at Mama when she dozes off.

The last four weeks have been pretty exciting! More exciting than hanging out in the womb, at least (although I must admit it was pretty comfy in there). After my grand entrance to the world (see my birth story here), I spent a couple weeks getting as much sleep as possible. I lost a fair amount of weight and wasn't very interested in nursing, so everyone got worried. Once I hit my due date though, everything clicked into place and things started going much more smoothly. I learned to latch on to nurse more effectively, and I spend a little more time of each day awake and checking things out.

I had my 4-week check-up yesterday, and everything looks great. I weigh 8lbs 1oz, which means that I've gained an ounce a day since my last weigh-in. I'm 21.5" long and my head is 36.5cm in circumference. I'm in the 50th percentile for weight and head circumference and the 75th percentile for length. Mama looked up my big brother's stats, and can you believe that he was only 6lbs 14oz at 4 weeks old? He looks so big to me -- I can't imagine that he used to be so much smaller.

I didn't get to see the Dude, but I saw Dr. N instead and I like him too. He said that I look nice and healthy. I'm starting to fill out a bit and my newborn rash is almost gone. My skin is still kind of blotchy, but Dr. N said that's normal and will go away by the time I'm a year old. He also said that we should get a better idea of what color my eyes will be by the time I'm about 10 months old. For now they are a deep slate blue, but who knows where they will end up! Maybe they'll be green like Daddy's?

Dr. N also said that I'm A-OK to travel to Denver in a couple weeks for my Uncle Brendan's wedding, although Mama and Daddy have to be very careful with me. Per the doc's orders, no one is allowed to touch or hold me and I need to be isolated as much as possible. He said that if it were anyone's wedding other than Daddy's brother's, he would say that I'm not allowed to go at this age. Mama and Daddy are supposed to remember that everyone is there for Uncle Brendan's wedding, not to see me, so they promised to keep me as isolated as possible and not to take me to any events other than the wedding ceremony. That means that I won't be subjected to a game of "pass the baby" until I'm older. Whew!

Other than my first airplane trip, my plans for the near future include sleeping, nursing every 2-3 hours (and sometimes every 40-60 minutes in the middle of the night), crying, and watching exciting things like lights and my big brother Z. When I cry, Z comes over and says, "Mei-mei, awwwww..." which I like. He also tries to pat my leg to make me feel better, but he's kind of heavy-handed so I'm not sure how much I like that part.

Well it's been about 90 minutes since I last had a snack, so I think it's time to start getting Mama's attention. After all, I can hear that Z is waking up from his nap. I like to time my wakings and nursings for the exact times that he gets up from his nap or needs to eat because it's fun to watch Mama scurry around trying to juggle both of us.

Mamarazza returns

I'm in a DSLR photography group called "Mamas with Cameras" and we had Me Ra Koh speak at our meeting this week. She gave lots of great tips and has inspired me to start using my camera to its full potential -- actually shooting in Manual mode instead of Auto. I know how to use a non-digital SLR, but all of the bells and whistles on the digital version intimidated me until Me Ra gave me the push I needed. I'm just getting used to this, so I'm experimenting a lot. Hopefully my pictures will get better and better!

Here's one of my favorites from today. It's a bit fuzzy if you look at it full scale, but I kind of like the softness that creates.

The name game

Due to a request from someone near and dear to us, we are once again changing names on this blog. We're going back to Zack-zack (or just Z) for the Boy. Even though we often call him "the boy" in person, it just doesn't translate well to the blogosphere. It comes across sounding rather cold and impersonal.

Welcome back, Zack-zack!

Yogurt bath

1. There's nothing like some air guitar (and a farmer's tan) in the tub.
2. What? Yogurt is great for your skin, isn't it?

"Are you the nanny?"

I'm just waiting to get that question.

There's no "f" in "way"

Today's grocery shopping trip with the kidlings wasn't quite a success, but it wasn't a complete failure either. Here's a summary:

Park. Leave kids in car to get a shopping cart. Put the Boy in the shopping cart seat. Attempt to fit Mei-mei's car seat into the main part of the shopping cart. Twist and turn car seat to squeeze it into the cart, then shove it down to make it stable. Put car seat canopy up so that the Boy doesn't drop things onto Mei-mei. Push cart into store and start looking for groceries. Realize there's nowhere to put the groceries, since both the seat and the main part of the cart are filled by children. Balance bananas on car seat handle. Put milk and various larger items under the cart. Squeeze tall thin items into small spaces around the edges of the car seat. Put other items in diaper bag. Stop shopping when ~30% complete, because there are no more places to stash items.

So I got less than half of what I needed. But at least I managed to get a few things! And there were no tantrums or tears in the store either, which I always consider a win.

Happy birthday, Margaret!

Outnumbered

I think it's going to take awhile for me to figure out how to manage this newborn + toddler thing. Several friends (who have no children) have said, "You've already been through the new baby thing...this should be easy!" Obviously, they have not spent much time with a 21-month old! It's not quite as simple to take care of a newborn when you have to be 100% focused on the toddler who is climbing/running/banging his way around the house.

Last night was my first time putting the Boy to bed on my own since Mei-mei was born. It didn't go quite as smoothly as I would have liked. Just as the Boy and I were climbing the stairs to read a book and go to sleep, Mei-mei started crying (she was downstairs in the pack-n-play). I couldn't leave the Boy alone on the stairs and I didn't want him to feel rushed in his bedtime routine, so we continued up the stairs, picked out a book, and I read to him as quickly as I could without taking any obvious shortcuts. The entire time, I could hear Mei-mei screaming her lungs out and it was all I could do not to throw the Boy in his crib and run downstairs. There's something physical that happens to a mother when her baby cries, and it's very difficult to ignore.

Tonight I was on my own again, and again, it didn't go very smoothly. This time, Mei-mei started crying while I was giving the Boy a bath. Obviously, I couldn't leave him alone in the bathtub. Since we were almost done with the bath anyway, I thought I could quickly dry him off and get him dressed for bed before tending to Mei-mei. So I pulled the plug to drain the tub, which is when Mei-mei kicked her screaming into high gear. She was hacking and coughing, so I ran to grab her and brought her into the bathroom while the tub drained. I ended up sitting on the floor of the bathroom nursing her while the Boy sat in the drained tub and air dried.

I thought that bedtime would be easier since Mei-mei had just nursed, but I was wrong. She started crying again as the Boy and I were heading up the stairs, so we had a repeat of last night. By the time I got back downstairs to pick her up, she had nearly cried herself hoarse. I was on the verge of tears myself and I held her until we both fell asleep on the couch.

It's absolutely heartbreaking to me, but I don't know how to handle it otherwise. The Boy still needs to be lifted and carried, so I can't wear Mei-mei in a carrier while taking care of him. Mei-mei isn't in any kind of schedule yet, so I can't predict when she's going to need to nurse. And she's reached that stage where she gets fussier in the evenings -- which is precisely when the Boy needs to eat, bathe, and go to bed. I'm just hoping that this stage won't last long, and we'll soon be in a rhythm that doesn't involve heart-wrenching sobs (from either of the babies OR the mama)...

Weight watchers v2.0

You may remember the weight issues we had with the Boy when he was a newborn. Since he was premature, he was small and wasn't strong enough to nurse effectively. We spent his first several weeks focusing on getting him to gain weight, which included an endless cycle of nursing, supplementing (with breast milk), and pumping. It was exhausting, and we were so relieved that Mei-mei was born full-term, a good size, and able to nurse from the beginning.

Of course, things couldn't stay that simple! Mei-mei was born 7lbs 11.9oz. When we took her in for her first visit with the Dude (at four days old), she had dropped to 7lbs 2oz. That was within the normal drop of 8-10%, so no one was worried. We went back four days later when she was one week old, because we had to get her cord stump checked for infection. While we were there, we did a weight check...and she was still 7lbs 2oz. She was supposed to be gaining an average of 1oz per day, so four days of no weight gain was not a good thing. Five days later, we went back for her two-week check-up and discovered that she still weighed 7lbs 1oz. This was really not good. Nine days with no weight gain whatsoever.

So we started the ol' nurse/supplement/pump routine that we went through with the Boy. It took me 1.5-2 hours to complete a cycle, and then 30 minutes later I'd start waking Mei-mei up for the next round. I continued this through the weekend, but on Sunday Mei-mei started spitting up whatever she got from the bottles. She was also latching much better and nursing more effectively. So I stopped giving her the bottles and hoped that everything would be OK at her next weight check.

Today was her weight check, and I tried to fill her up right before the appointment so that she would be as heavy as possible. The nurse weighed her and announced, "7.06 pounds...so just a tad over 7 pounds". My heart sank. She'd lost weight again! But then the Dude came in and said that the scale was a new one and the display wasn't set correctly. It actually should have read 7lbs 6oz, not 7.06lbs. Whew!

That means that Mei-mei gained 6oz in five days, which is perfect. The Dude said I could continue to just nurse her and skip the tedious 2-hour routine since it seems that she's doing well with nursing now. She'll have her weight checked at her four-week check-up, so we'll be able to see how things are going then.

So now things to be going more smoothly again! Hopefully Mei-mei will continue to gain weight and will remain the low-key gentle baby that she has been so far. By this point, the Boy had already entered his fussy stage, so we're feeling pretty lucky this time around!

The last hurrah

It seems that we have a tradition when it comes to having babies: we spend our last night out before the baby arrives at Ben & Carrie's. Granted, we don't realize it's our last night out until after the fact. Before The Boy was born, we celebrated Carrie's and Vicki's birthdays at their Momma Mia party. That was a week before he surprised us (he was a month early), five weeks before he was due. So we really had no idea it was going to be our last night of social interaction for awhile.

With Mei-mei, our last hurrah was a bit closer to her arrival. As I mentioned in her birth story, I'd been feeling a bit "off" all day but we still headed over to Ben & Carrie's to see Mark & Rebecca while they were in town. We didn't even make it past the appetizers...my water broke as we were waiting for the burgers to cook. There were lots of cameras around, so I'm trying to track down some of the pictures (how many people have pictures of their water breaking in public??). For now, I have some pictures from my camera, plus a couple from Carrie's iPhone. Hover over the pictures to see the captions.

Blog monikers, take two

OK, I've been stewing over the relatively inconsequential topic of child blog monikers/aliases/appellations/anonyms (see, I even stewed long enough to come up with several ways of referring to it). I discussed it with Chris -- and by discussed I said, "Hey honey, should we just change it to..." -- and we've decided that we're going to simplify things even further. This may sound a bit funny, but you'll get used to it. We're just going to call hilltot "the boy" (babyhill will still be "mei-mei", although she may become "the girl" once she's big enough to think of as anything other than a baby). And following that logic, the rest of the family includes the Mom, the Dad, and the Cow.

We settled on this because it's simple, short, and we already call hilltot "the boy" and Cowboy "the Cow". Who knows if we will ever call babyhill "the girl", but if we do, then we will start to refer to her as such on the blog as well.

So there we have it.

I'm baaaack!

I haven't posted in awhile because it's been really busy around here. Guess what we have at home? A new baby! So far she hasn't really done much other than sleep, eat and cry. I hope that she gets a little more interesting soon, because right now I don't really see what the big fuss is about.

Mei-mei did help me grasp the idea of "poop". When I see Mama or Daddy changing her diaper, I say "poop". Or I get one of her clean diapers out of the bin and say "poop". In fact, A-mah taught me to tell someone when I have a dirty diaper myself. If you ask me, I'll tell you either "poop" or "no poop". But sometimes I'm fibbing.

A-mah and Poo-pa (everyone else calls him "Opa") stayed with us for two weeks because Mei-mei was coming. I had so much fun with them (and so did Cowboy, because they took him for walks twice a day)! Every morning I'd go downstairs and call "A-MAH! A-MAH!" until I found her. She taught me so many things and we even have our own secret language. It's called "Chinese" and rumor has it that there might be a few other people in the world who speak it, but in our house it's only A-mah and me. Mama uses some of the words sometimes, but it's not the same.

Now Papa and Grandma Hill are here to visit with us and see Mei-mei. They take me on wagon rides and to playgrounds, and I got to play ball with Papa today! When they aren't playing with me, they spend a lot of time holding Mei-mei and watching her sleep. They seem to be waiting for her to do something interesting too.

It's been so exciting to have so many people around all the time. Even Daddy has been staying home to play with me! Mama spends a lot of time feeding Mei-mei (evidently she needs to eat a lot and it takes her a long time), but she still reads me my favorite books and plays with me. And best of all, I can fit on her lap again! I didn't want to say anything before, but she'd gotten pretty fat over the last few months. I'm glad she finally decided to get rid of her belly so that I can fit on her lap, even though I don't have the nice comfortable bump to sit on when she carries me anymore.

Here are a few pictures that I never got around to posting before. They are from the last couple of weeks before Mei-mei came home. We played putt-putt (I'm not a big fan of it yet, but Daddy says I will learn to love it), went to wading pools and playgrounds, and I even got to eat dinner at Chipotle. In the picture with Mama, you can see what I mean by the little weight issue she had going on.

Welcome to our new home on the web!

I finally decided to simplify our lives (OK, my life) a bit. It was too much work to keep up with three different blogs, so here we are with our single family blog: Raising Hill. Welcome!

Hilltot will continue to post, and Babyhill will start posting as soon as she wakes up enough to get involved. And of course, I will post on behalf of the Hill parental units (King and Queen of the Hills? Yeah, right...I think those roles have been filled by Hilltot and Babyhill).

Also, in the interest of not having to change monikers as the little ones grow up, they will henceforth be referred to as "the Bullet/Zack-zack" and "Mei-mei". Hilltot received the nickname of "Bullet" from his A-Mah after she spent over two weeks watching him ricochet off the walls. He's also called "Zack-zack", which is a German phrase that roughly translates to "hurry up" or "chop-chop". It is very appropriate for him -- it evokes his particular combination of speed, energy, impatience and mischievousness. The only reason I'm a bit wary of using Zack-zack on this blog is that most Americans will pronounce it "zaaak", which I do not like (therefore zaaak-zaaak is twice as grating to my ears)*. It's pronounced more like "tzok-tzok". And after spending all of this time explaining the nickname, I'm relatively certain I will shorten it to ZZ. Because I'm lazy like that.

"Mei-mei" is the Taiwanese/Chinese term for "little sister", which is what I was also called when I was growing up. Zack-zack already calls his little sister Mei-mei, because it's easier to say than her name.

So, here we go! As there will now be three of us posting to this blog, be sure to look at the signature of each post if you are confused about who is writing.

*Yes, I realize that we gave him a name that will inevitably be shortened to a nickname that I'm not very fond of. And it's not even the name that bothers me, it's the sound of the "a" -- the "aaa" that sounds like you're gagging on something ("aaaack"). However, I'm fine with it if he chooses to shorten his name himself. I just see no need to shorten it myself in the meantime.